Run Details

New start time of 19:00.

#2411 - Saddlescombe Farm, Brighton - "Fairly flat," said St Bernard, "and only 4 miles." To which one quick-witted hasher asked if that was vertical distance? Given that this ranks... *checks phone*... as the second-hilliest hash of this year, I doth call St Bernard a fibber! The hare was also heard to remark that "there's one bit that'll slow you down." Cryptic but made clear once on trail (more on that shortly) but at least he rewarded some of us with port (more on that later too) and, for those of us partaking in grub, some lovely jacket potatoes, chilli, and beer. And so, the hash set forth W straight over Saddlescombe Rd, following the foot around to Poynings with a quick left at the road then right through The Royal Oak car park and footpath back to the road. Straight over and through the fields to the roundabout of Poynings Rd / Saddlescombe Rd / A281, and the first fishhook (for 10) and a nice surprise - those fishhooking crossed back over the field to return back to the hare who greeted the fishhookers with a shot of port (or optional alcohol-free fruit punch) - what a lovely treat. Oddly, only 9 seemed to have made it and it was decided that Prince Crashpian had somehow missed out. Now nicely lubricated on-trail, the pack followed the trail straight over the roundabout, into the field and onto Church Ln; check here would find true trail S, back down to the A281 and over on to Beggar's Ln. A short run on the tarmac would then turn up the steps E and the start of a much slower pace where the trail got thicker and thicker, a check leading the pack through the most unlikely of routes - a footpath covered by fallen trees and effectively obscured. Running, now no longer an option, was replaced with scrambling over and under the fallen trees, finding the odd step here or there, and clinging to trees down slopes; arrows continued to marked the way however, as did a fair amount of blood! After the much slower pace, and the bloody culprit identified as Whose Shout (legs and forehead smeared with blood), the trail opened up once more and turned back S / SW and down towards Saddlescombe Farm. Almost home, another fishhook here would find 8 turning back for yet more port, although a quick headcount this time revealed 9 had returned - the port obviously a winner this evening. Lastly, On Inn down the hill.

Back at St Bernard's, with plenty of beer available for DDs, a number of charges would be brought. Of course, firstly the hare. It was noted that the fishhooks with port were a lovely addition, although the fallen trees and blood trail need not be repeated anytime soon; DD to "Here's to the hare." Next up, a variety of charges: Bobble Chopper, who (nearly) rode into parked car on the way home from the football at the weekend and was bruised up as a result; Whose Shout, who was already sporting injuries before the hash after taking a sledgehammer to some wood and the wood won, now marking the trail in his own blood; Prince Crashpian, who had missed FH #1 and had no port as a result; and Oral Hooker, who was a late arrival and missed the r*n but said for the food and drinks; DDs for all to "What do we do with a drunken hasher", as suggested by Bouncer. It was noted that the last time that that song had been sung (at Mudlark's Trafalgar Day hash) we had sung 14 verses! Next up, Bonking Queen, spotted on the swings at the back of pack; and Lily The Pink, for some post-hash beer abuse (spilling beer on opening the keg); DDs for both to "20 Toes", BQ electing (rather unfairly) to not use her drinking arm and slowing down LTP, who still managed to neck it once he got the glass to his lips. And last up (before awarding of the numpty mug) returnee Dyna Rod and new boot Just Sue Clark; having witnessed the evening's shenanigans it was put to Just Sue if it was long enough for her? Smirking, she commented on how that was suggestive! After much prompting, noting that I had to record the answer, she answered with a "not quite". Was it hard enough? Again, a smirk and another "not quite". Who made her come? Now laughing, I took the answer to be "lots of other people" (I asked to check but she couldn't stop laughing now). And will she come again? A definite "yes"; DDs for DR and Just Sue to "Little Flat Jessie". Handing over to Knightrider, it was commented on how today might be the first ever double-awarding of the numpty mug... How would this happen? "Straws," someone shouted. And "there's two holes". But who would the recipients be? None other than Pompette and Beat The Barman after a key fiasco the following week when BTB had given his keys to Pompette, but they had then forgot this, she had driven home to look, he had re-run the trail to find them, and then it turned out (after get new keys cut) that they were in Pompette's running belt! DD to "They're Stupid". Lady first, Pompette proceeded to make a mess (her first numpty?) before passing over the BTB, who was refilled mid-DD by myself!

Next week's hash details were confirmed as The Ruby, Coldean and a 7pm start even though it's a bank holiday. And so the circle was closed with a toast to the hash. - Nasty Nips